Hello Cottonwood Families,
My name is Deanna Dyer, and I’m the Associate Director of Instructional Teams and a former homeschooling mom of 3 teenagers, one of whom is a high school graduate, and one who is currently a senior in high school. I have found, in the 13 years that I have worked in the homeschool charter world, and in the 9 years that I homeschooled, that leading with relationship is the key to success with your students, HST, other vendors you choose to partner with to extend your student’s learning outside of your home, and even other homeschooling parents. What do I mean by lead with relationship? Well, I’m glad you asked! From working with your student(s), to field trips, testing, and navigating your role as a parent educator working alongside an HST, it’s all about relationship, and putting the relationship before the work that needs to get done is always the best way forward. And yet, if we can be honest, relationships can get hard and messy and the joy of watching students learn and grow can quickly get sucked out of the room. But it doesn’t have to be this way! I think we all want to have healthy productive relationships, but many of us don’t know how to improve upon our relationship skills. Along my journey of discovery and growth, I’ve come to find that perspective, in particular my perspective, plays a big role in the outcomes I have in my relationships.
Anyone who knows me knows that I love 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, and it was in that book that I first saw this image, The Old Woman or Young Woman illusion. Covey draws our attention to the idea that no matter what you see first, the young woman or the old woman, you are both right. This then begs the question, is there more than one way of looking at the same thing? Is it possible then, that something which may seem so obvious to us may be interpreted differently by others? And if more than one thing can be right or valuable at the same time, how open are we to exploring another’s point of view? (Stay with me here and check in with yourself. Did this series of questions evoke anxiety or curiosity?)
Why is it important to understand that more than one perspective can be right or valuable? It’s important because understanding this can reduce the anxiety we feel when we or someone else is not getting it “right,” and it can strengthen our ability to learn from others who don’t see things the same way we do. As a homeschool parent, you are the expert on your child, and yet, the perspectives of others (your HST, other school personnel, or possibly your case manager if your student has an IEP) with whom you’ve built relationship can provide perspectives and new information about your child that you may or may not see.
How does this apply to me as a parent at The Cottonwood School? Another great question; you’re on a roll! As the parent educator providing the daily instruction and oversight of your student’s learning, it might be tempting to relegate your HST to the person who supports you with ordering or reminds you to mark your daily attendance, and yet, developing a real academic partnership within which both your perspectives are given their proper weight can vastly improve your student’s education. This relational synergy is the stuff that educational dreams are made of and is a significant part of why homeschooling through a public charter school is such a gift.
Put it into Practice:
- What did you first see when looking at the image, the old woman or the young woman?
- How does it make you feel when you hear that more than one way of seeing something could be “right”? What does the way you feel tell you about yourself and what you may need to feel at peace with how others see your student or their learning?
- Reflect on a time when you had a conversation with your HST or another homeschool parent and your perspectives didn’t seem to align. Can you now see any insights about their differing point of view that you can learn from? Why or why not?
Kindly,
Deanna Dyer, Associate Director of Instructional Teams (AKA HST Boss)